Tinaresse Dandajena

Tinaresse Dandajena

The Body and The Mindset

A dedication to my sisters and brothers, who have previously heard it all before…

… when it comes to body confidence and how we should all love ourselves but are struggling to find their path. Today I want to focus on you! I want you to not just feel empowered as you read this but be empowered for a lifetime.
For a very long time I was broken. One of the effects of being a young girl who experienced different forms of abuse was lack of self love and confidence. For years I did not understand what my purpose in life was, I felt unworthy and deserving of death and hatred. A very dark time that I managed to somehow conquer, step by step, day by day. And by God’s mercy I managed to not only survive but grow this intense love for my self in every aspect of my life.
I want to share with you, the steps that I followed that helped me remove myself out of the dark place and shine my light like never before. I hope this helps you too. My journey began when I realised the importance of my actions and the understanding that I was the CEO of my feelings and reactions. Sure I can’t stop someone else’s actions or opinions but I can choose what the ‘afterwards’ narrative will be.
1 Meditation
The very first time I realised that I was broken was when my healing began. It happened in the most gentle and quiet way. As if the Universe wanted me to stop moving and really take in how far I had come and how I could change the narrative. We live in such a fast paced world, so much so that even in the comfort of our own home, we have no peace.

The television is usually on, social media is right at the palm of our hands, the radio in the background etc. We are so distracted that we rarely have peaceful moments that allow us to identify our deepest needs. We are so focused on our external and never take time to switch off and examine the internal. To be able to constantly achieve greatness one must be great within. One of the most vital steps to take is to engage in some form of meditation. Find a form of meditation that you feel comfortable with. Most people turn to religion or yoga. As a Christian I turned to prayer. In that moment shutdown the outside and really begin to work internally.
2: Revelation
Once you have spent time with yourself, meditating/praying. You may find yourself overwhelmed with questions. Some of the answers to these particular questions will be available through awkward questions with the people that have hurt you. Some of the answers may not be available to you and you find that you don’t even know where to begin. At this point, write down the questions, say them out loud.

Cry if you have to, shout if you must, just release them out into the universe. When you feel that you are all cried out, all prayed out, all talked out. Take a deep breath and let go of it all. At this very moment you must exchange the questions for commands. What is it that you want in life. What did life take away from you, it’s time to demand it all back.
3: Elimination
A lot of the time when we have asked ourselves the hard questions it opens room for clarity. We suddenly have clear vision, we become very much aware of the negative things that take away from US. From the hard conversations that we had during revelation, we are made more aware of the people we would like to keep around and those we want to get rid off.

At this point ensure your heart is pure, forgive and leave the past where it belongs whilst you look into the future. Change your surroundings, get rid of the social accounts that make you feel bad about yourself. Follow empowering accounts, when you scroll down your timeline be uplifted not drained. Distance yourself from relatives that harm you. Eliminate all the things that cause you misery.
4: Still
When you have eliminated all the negative things / people / social accounts. Spend more time with self, talk to self, hear self and let yourself be your best-friend for a moment. A moment with no movement, a moment of stillness. In this very moment you want to embrace your thoughts, dig deep within you, take a thorough look at yourself. From the body that carries you, the body that helps you survive to the heart that allows you to feel. Recognise and appreciate this body and heart that allow you to live. How can you not love every single part of your being. With everything that you have conquered, you did it in this very body. I want you to stand in awe and recognise the strength that this body has, the courage that this heart has. Your mind, your body, your soul made sure that you survive, how can you not be grateful for that. After everything that you have been through, after everything that you have conquered how can you not love you. In this moment, stay still and love yourself.
5: Power
Once you know how to love yourself, you naturally become so powerful. Your love for yourself will begin to pour out to other people. Your confidence will begin to influence others to be confident in themselves. All because you made the choice to eliminate all the negatives from your life. You now understand that no matter how difficult the situation is, there is light at the end of the tunnel, because you have been here before and you survived.

I promise you, anyone that meets you, will feel your energy and they will feel your comfort. Not because of what your body looks like, not because of the clothes you are wearing but because you when you are fully healed, you begin to radiate a new type of energy. An energy so positively powerful that it doesn’t matter what the scale has to say, it doesn’t matter whether you have gone a dress size up or size down. This new energy outshines everything around you. Even in your darkest moments you beam. How your body looks will no longer define you.
I hope these steps help you understand how powerful the mind is. I hope they help you understand that health begins within. Above all I hope these steps help you understand that you are the CEO of your life and you are in charge of who is in or out. Remember the bigger your struggle, the bigger your blessings.❤

Tinar xxx